kill me romantically, fill my soul with vomit, then ask me for a piece of gum

It's almost Valentine's day. Ugh. I hate the months of November through February. It's one holiday after another. Valentine's just reminds me of all my failed relationships and how emotionally retarded I am. So this year, I'm taking action. I'm doing something that will cheer me up immensely. I've invited my good friend Casey to go to a monster truck rally with me. The monster trucks will be like a metaphor representing my love life. Everything crashing into each other. Plus I love crashes and stuff like that. My favorite Xbox game is Burnout Revenge cuz I get to wreck all the other cars. That's the point of the game. How could anything beat that? I just need to remember not to be in Burnout mode while driving my real life car. That would not be pretty.

The other day I wrote on my Twitter that people around me were seeming more insane and I felt saner. I was wondering if they were getting worse or if I'm getting better. I still haven't decided. It really depends on the day.

Friday night I met my sister halfway and picked up the girls for her soon-to-be ex, Tom. I kept them that night. Taci fell asleep right away in the car. Niki lasted a little longer but she fell asleep too. When we finally reached my apartment Taci just wanted to go to bed. But Niki stayed up with me. We played Phase 10. I almost got my ass kicked by a 6 year old! :D She's so smart. She didn't even have to ask what the phases meant. And she'd only played the game once before. We both got to the last phase but I went out before her and she didn't finish it so I won. I'm glad cuz it'd be pretty embarrassing telling people that my 6 year old niece beat me at a game I've been playing for years! She stayed up til one with me. The next morning I wake up and she's in the kitchen reading Because of Winn Dixie. On her own. Without anyone telling her to. My mini me? Hell yes! While we were waiting for Tom to come she told me what had happened in the book so far. She's brilliant. Tom was late picking them up and his girlfriend called me and told me they were lost. They were way off where they should have been. And she tried to blame it on my directions. Seriously!! I've led quite a few people to my apartment and not one of them has called lost. But I guess I did tell Tom. He's not the brightest crayon in the box if you know what I mean. I'd say he's probably the black one. Seriously. The directions I gave were like this, "Get off I-15 on this street, turn left on this street, turn right on this street. At the first light turn left. Go like 3 blocks. You'll see a 7-11, a house, and then my apartment complex." I left off the street names cuz I don't want any creepy stalkers visiting in the night. Although, that might be super. I'd feel very special. Like special Ed. Anyway, Tom was supposed to give me gas money cuz it was HIS weekend with the girls and he didn't even do that. I was steaming mad all day. I'd asked if I could have them on Sunday for like 4 hours and he refused saying he'd only get like 24 hours with them. I was like, you'd get them Friday night, all day saturday, saturday night and sunday morning. He said that the nights don't count but I only got to have them for car time and a night. What a jackass. I'm glad my sister is divorcing him. Well, that's all for now. If I keep venting about things I'll make my ulcer angry. And an angry ulcer is not a pretty sight! :D

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell...

Giving me sharp objects is not a good idea. For one, I used to be a cutter. I liked bleeding all over myself. Yes, I'm strange. A childhood like mine'll do that to a person. But, I'm healed. My other personality, Barbara Ann the southern belle, told me so. She argues with my satanistic one named Dr. Strangelove but Barbara Ann always wins. She's southern. Southern women are always right. And don't even get me started on the brittish detective personality, Rosalind Beechcroft. She's a snob. But if I could pick one of my personalities to have all the time, it'd be her. So back to the sharp objects. I was shaving my legs cuz it's a big no-no to wear skirts with hairy legs if you're looking for a husband. After I'm married, I wont care, but until then, I must degrade myself with shaving. I was in a hurry. Another scary thing. NEVER hurry while going up and down your legs cutting off the little tiny hairs. It's dangerous. In a past life, danger thrilled me, but this one, I'm just tryin to stay alive until I die at the ripe old age of 50. I have those details planned so don't worry your pretty little heads about it. Anyhoo. So I obviously cut myself while being girly.

Not once...

But twice!

At least I have cute Hello Kitty bandaids to cover up my failures as a woman! And I give myself credit for trying. Two thumbs up to Victoria! YAY!!! Now everybody clap......

Niki & Taci

I wrote a blog about texting my sister to send me a picture of the girls in their Halloween costumes and someone asked me to put it on here. Left is Taci as a cheerleader and right is Niki as Hannah Montana. They're both so cute! And they had lots of fun trick-or-treating.

I might be getting them next week sometime when they stay with their dad for the holidays. I can't wait! I talk to them on the phone all the time but it's just not the same as playing with them in person. Especially since Taci hardly likes to talk on the phone. Niki on the other hand talks a bunch. It's really funny. She's like a little old lady sometimes. :D

All weekend I was sick to my stomach. Today I'm not feeling much better. I think maybe it's a bleeding ulcer... Ok, so that's just my hypochondriac tendencies seeping through my normal facade. It's probably nothing. But what if it's something? This is why I'm not allowed to look at those medical diagnostic books. I always think I have what I read about. It's crazy! This is just a normal part of my insanity that I've learned to life with. One day, when hell freezes over or I die, I'll get over all my psychological problems!

Withdrawals

I'm already missing the new episodes of my shows. It seems like with them gone, I have nothing to write about. My life is THAT lame. So I'm gonna do a questionaire thingie.

1. Were you named after anyone? Not that I know of.
2. When was the last time you cried? I almost cried on Dec 12th when I talked to Grandma and she was really depressed cuz it was her and grandpa's anniversary.
3. Do you like your handwriting? Most of the time. A lot of people compliment me on it so I guess it's good.
4. Do you have kids? Umm... No. Unless you count my two nieces who I love like they're my kids.
5. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? Heck yeah, I'm funny. And I wouldn't want me to make fun of me so yeah. DUH!
6. Do you use sarcasm? No... Duh. Most of the time.
7. Do you still have your tonsils? Nope. The dr stole them like the pigs stole my car.
8. Would you bungee jump? Probably not. I'm afraid of heights. It would not be a pretty sight.
9. What is your favorite cereal? Froot Loops or Cinnamon Toast Crunch
10. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? No. I never tie them in the first place. The laces are stuck inside the shoe cuz I'm a lazy person!
11. Do you think you are strong? Physically? no. Emotionally? You betcha!
12. What is your favorite ice cream? Ute Blitz
13. What is the first thing you notice about people? Their clothes or what they're driving. Yes, I'm that shallow. I admit it!
14. Red or Pink? Definitely red. It's the color of blood and I have this weird obsession with it.
15. What is your least favorite thing about you? My muffin top. It's gross!
16. Who do you miss the most? Alive or dead? Alive would be Grandma and the girls and dead would be Grandpa.
17. What color of pants and shoes are you wearing right now? Dark blue jeans and white Etnies with teal and black in the E.
18. What was the last thing you ate? A fun size Milky Way
19. What are you listening to right now? A country station on the radio cuz I got sick of hearing Britney Spears and David Archuletta and I can't get my rock stations to come in at work. Grr!
20. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Dark teal. It's just a really nice color.
21. Favorite smells? The smell of cheeseburgers cooking.
22. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? My sister-in-law Becky.
23. Favorite sports to watch? probably basketball
24. Hair color? My roots are a brownish color but the rest is red.
25. Eye color? Blue/gray/green
26. Do you wear contacts? Yes. Without them I'd be blind as a bat.
27. Favorite food? At the moment, cheeseburgers.
28. Scary movies or happy endings? Depends on my mood.
29. Last movie you watched? It's called Black Book. It was oddly fascinating. I thought I'd hate it cuz of the subtitles but I couldn't look away.
30. What color of shirt are you wearing right now? Navy blue
31. Favorite season? spring cuz there's no snow and it's still not too hot and all the pretty flowers are bloomin and new animals are bein born.
32. Hugs or kisses? Depends on the other person! :D
33. Favorite dessert? Umm... So many options, so hard to choose. Anything with chocolate!
34. What book are you reading now? Cutting Loose by Susan Andersen. Very good so far!
35. What's on your mousepad? An M&M and a calender
36. What did you watch on tv last night? Reruns of House
37. Favorite sound? Music? I dunno...
38. What is the furthest you've been away from home? When I went to visit my little brother in Fort Meyers, Florida.
39. Do you have a special talent? I'm insane. Does that count?!
40. Where were you born? Cincinnati Ohio

A quickie...

Just a quick note. If you don't know me well, then you probably don't know how dumb I am when it comes to cars. I tried to change my windshield wipers last night. I spent 15 frustrating minutes trying to be self-reliant. Finally I gave up and called my brother. Now I have new windshield wiper blades and my brother feels useful. hopefully... And I'm a complete idiot when it comes to cars. I will never try that again. Oh well. 7 minutes til I can turn out all the lights and count my money and go home. I'm excited. Plus Private Practice premiers tonight. Crossing my fingers that it's good! :D