Friday, November 7, 2008

The girls...

Six years ago last April, my first niece was born. Nakelle Marie. She was my mini-me. She let me hold her and cuddle her. When she started crawling, she started following me around. Two days before she turned two, her little sister was born. Taisyn Dawn. Through my hard emotional days, when I wanted to give up, I'd look at them, at even a picture of them, and everything would be ok. They would be there for me no matter what. They would love me no matter what I did or what was done to me. I found the best thing I could be was an auntie. At one, Taci had a seizure and lost all her motor functions. Up until this point, she was VERY independent. She wouldn't let anyone hold her. She loved doing things on her own. After the accident, she became a Mama's girl and an Auntie's girl. We would hold her for hours and rock in the rocking chair trying to comfort her because she was frustrated that she couldn't move like she used to. And Niki? She's the best sister in the world. If Taci needed anything, she would be right there giving it to her. She watched her baby sister die when she was 3 years old but it didn't damage her. It made her an incredible sister.

I am on my way to see them today. I'm very excited. That's the only thing I miss about southern Utah. I got to see them whenever I wanted. Now it's every couple of months if that. But they still know who I am. That's been my biggest worry. That they'll forget auntie and I'll just be a stranger who pops into their life every once in a while. But my sister put my thoughts at ease as she used me to bribe the kids into doing something she wanted them to. I guess she asked them to do something and they weren't cooperating and she goes "Fine. I guess I'll call auntie and tell her not to come!" As soon as they found out I was coming they got very excited and did what she wanted. Now however late I get there, I get to wake them up and play with them. YAY fun!! The point of this blog was to tell everyone that my nieces, Niki and Taci, saved my life. There were days when I just wanted to lay down and die, when my emotional burdens were so crippling it was almost easier to give up. But I would see their faces and know that I couldn't leave them. I could never leave them here on earth by doing the easy thing. I couldn't leave them with that emotional burden. One of these days I will post a picture of them on here. They're the best.

No comments: