Lisa Kleypas Smooth Talking Stranger

Lisa Kleypas Smooth Talking Stranger

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My old man...

It's been exactly one year since Grandpa passed away. I'm sad, but I'm ok. I've pretty much been in denial the whole year. But it'll hit me at random moments that he's gone.

At the age of 6, social services finally decided that my parents weren't fit to be taking care of 5 kids. At first, my grandparents took the four youngest kids. My oldest brother went straight into foster care. He went to live with a family that went to the same church as us. So my grandparents were taking care of 4 kids ranging in ages 5-10. If they had been able, they would've adopted all four of us. But they were retiring so they could only handle 2. They adopted my sister and I. We were living in Cincinnati when we were taken away and my grandparents brought my sister and I to Utah.

My Grandpa did everything he could to make us happy. He got a part time job so we could participate in after school activities like dance, basketball, softball. Whatever we wanted. We always had nice clothes. Grandpa made sure of it. I was pretty much spoiled when it came to material things. He wasn't an emotional person. He never told me he loved me. There are only a few times I can remember him saying he was proud of me. But he showed his love by providing me with everything I could ever want.

It wasn't until Niki was born that he showed much emotion. After that, he was a big mush ball for her. She was "his girl". He would sit there for hours holding her, playing peek-a-boo. He would always pull pictures of her out and say "this is my great granddaughter, isn't she pretty?" He was so proud of that. He didn't relate to Taci as much because she was so independent she didn't like to stay in one place for long. After Taci's accident, Grandpa was there. He would sit in the rocking chair holding her just like the rest of us.

He wasn't always nice, but he was MY meanie. And I'm going to miss him. So Rest In Peace old geezer! :D

My eyes... I can't see my eyes!

So I got some new glasses. It's weird wearing them again. But I can see and I might actually like them better than contacts. I know my eyes aren't as itchy as they were. I haven't figured out if they've made my headaches better but in time I'm sure I'll see. So here they are all by their lonesome. Just so you can see the design.

And here they are on my face. It's a crappy picture but I put it on here just so you would get an idea of what they looked like on my cute lil chubby face. So enjoy peeps!

scuzzy slutter gut...

So I get to see one of my best friends this weekend. I'm so effing excited. That's where my subject comes from. We used to call each other that all the time. We were insane back in the day. We probably still are, we've just calmed it down so it isn't so much in the open. But when we get together, it's always insane. I've really got to get a picture of our "found art" project we did in high school on here. It freaked out even our craziest friends.

The store I'm at has one door that works and one that doesn't. There's a paper on the one that doesn't work that says "please use other door" or something like that. I've watched like 5 people walk into it today. Can they really not read? Seriously! It's pretty funny. That's all my ill brain can come up with today.

oh look at that, my butt just hung up on you...

There are just some customers I would love to walk up to the bullet proof glass and just casually say, "Sorry, we're having technical difficulties. Please try again." Or "Error" Or "the person you are trying to reach is unavailable, please hang up and try again." or make the crackly noise like you're losing the signal. That would be so funny. Yes, I get kicks and giggles out of the most random things. That's how I roll.

Grey's Anatomy was on last night. It was combined with Private Practice. I absolutely love those two shows. They were both really good too. One guy had "worms" aka parasitic cysts in his brain. It was insane and I was disturbed on so many levels but I couldn't stop watching. It's like if you ever come across a corpse, you just stand there starring and even though you have the urge to vomit, you can't look away. It's why people slow down to look at car wrecks. You aren't intentionally looking to see if somebody died, but you don't want to miss it if they did. Human nature is a weird and disturbing thing sometimes.

One day, I will walk around for 24 consecutive hours with Pringles sticking out my mouth quacking like a duck. That would be fantabulistic! And it would really freak out all the customers. I love when they think I'm psychotic. It shows them that they shouldn't mess with me or I'm liable to go ape shit on their asses. Speaking of asses, last night I watched the funniest South Park. They were making fun of when everybody was obsessing about the Catholic priests molesting children and Cartman said he could stick food up his ass and crap it out his mouth. It worked and everyone started copying him. So all the people would be in the middle of saying something and they'd crap out their mouths and keep talking. Too funny!

Fun times...

I got to go on a nice little trip this weekend. I love St. George. If they had a better school and better job opportunities I would so be living there.

I left Friday when I got off work at 7. I didn't get to Cedar til like 10:30. I woke Niki up and we played Littlest Pet Shop or some weird looking animal toy game. Then we read together for a little while. I woke up the next morning to Taci saying "Auntie's sleeping" while pointing to me. She's so freakin cute when she says obvious things! I only care that she can talk. I don't care what she says. Jess took them to a friend's at 10 when she had to go to work. And I left for St. George. Kitty did my hair. She dyed it brown and cut it into a lob which I think stands for long bob. I just know it's cute and I like it. So here's some pictures.

This one shows off the pretty color:

This one shows it from the front. There's lots of layers so I can flip it up and make it all prettiful:

This one shows the back view of all the pretty layers:

So after I finished getting my hair done I went to the mall for my sister cuz she had a gift certificate for Bath & Body Works. I got her some smelly stuff and I even got one for myself. I'm really liking it. Then I called my old boss, Rick. We had dinner with his girlfriend, Laurie, who's an absolute sweetie, and his daughter and her husband. We had Ernesto's. I had a #5 which is enchiladas. I had the cheese ones. They were delish! And they weren't too spicy so I didn't get heartburn or sick to my stomach. Always an accomplishment, that one. So I spent the night at Laurie's house and went and ate breakfast with Rick. At about 1 I headed back to Cedar so I could spend more time with the girls. We played Barbies and Littlest Pet Shop and even a game of Phase 10. I won again. I would really hate for Niki to beat me. Taci even played a couple of rounds of the game. Ok, she played with the cards and I actually played for her. But it was fun all the same. When I went to leave Niki kept hugging me like she didn't want me to go. I'm surprised I didn't cry. I usually cry when I leave them. But for the first 100 miles of the drive back home I was trying my best not to puke all over my car. That distracted me from the pain of leaving the girls. Migraines suck. My advice would be to never try to drive 250 miles while fighting a raging migraine.

Anyway. While looking for a title for this blog I came across this quote from South Park and it had me giggling like a school girl so I thought I'd put it in here.

[addressing the damned]
Hell Director: Hello, newcomers and welcome. Can everybody hear me? Hello? [taps microphone]
Hell Director: Can everybody... ok. Um, I am the Hell Director. Uh, it looks like we have 8,615 of you newbies today. And for those of you who were a little confused, uh, you are dead; and this is Hell. So abandon all hope and yadda-yadda-yadda. Uh, we are now going to start the orientation process which will last about...
Protestant: Hey, wait a minute. I shouldn't be here, I was a totally strict and devout Protestant. I thought we went to heaven.
Hell Director: Yes, well, I'm afraid you are wrong.
Soldier: I was a practicing Jehovah's Witness.
Hell Director: Uh, you picked the wrong religion as well.
Man from Crowd: Well who was right? Who gets in to Heaven?
Hell Director: I'm afraid it was the Mormons. Yes, the Mormons were the correct answer.
The Damned: Awwww...

A healthy baby is worth $10-20,000 on the internet, even if it's Chinese

California woman gives birth to octuplets in five minutes. That was the first headline I read on MSN. That's 8 babies folks. Can you say insane in the membrane. Insane, got no brain! Seriously. I don't think God intended women to have that many babies at a time. If he wanted that, you could conceive them without being on fertility drugs. Could you imagine how big her stomach got? It must have been the size of a car. 8 kids at once. Boggles the mind. I mean, I've been sitting here for like 5 minutes trying to wrap my mind around the concept. Here's a link to the article if you want to read it. I say it's insane. That is all.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28864195/?gt1=43001